Make the burning stop.....

Saturday, May 27, 2006

C. Durinda Carney 3/23/48 - 5/26/06

Yet another cut and paste job...

Some of you know and some of you don't. I've been in Buffalo since Monday as my Mom's health began to decline significantly. Just wanted to thank you all for prayers and kind words during this experience.

Mom passed away last night at 4:55pm with Betsy, Matthew and I around her. We're relieved that after nine long years our mother is no longer suffering.

For those of you in town who can make it, there's a memorial service on Tuesday May 30, at 11am at Pilgrim St. Lukes UCC - 335 Richmond Avenue (on the corner of W. Utica). For those out of town, I'll return to NYC next weekend.

Once again, thank you to all of you for being there for my family and I.

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

The waiting is the hardest part...

The following is a letter I sent to friends letting them know what's going on in my little slice of the sphere. I apologize for the cut and paste but I am ... well, at a loss for words right now. There's a first time for everything.

Hi chicas...

Just a heads up that I am in Buffalo for an indeterminate amount of time. Mom has taken a downward turn. I got the call Monday morning and got in the car and drove here.

My sister Jennifer and her husband brought the kids (to say their goodbyes) and left this evening. I'm not sure if my sister Betsy and her husband and kids are staying here for a while or not. My brother and his girlfriend are putting me up and giving me lots of hugs. Their Rottweiler, Orin, is also making sure I'm not short on affection.

It's a waiting game and we'll just have to see. Mom is dehydrated and not taking in much fluid so its really a matter of time. I've been climbing into her bed and reading to her - and probably mauling her to death. Quintessential Momma's girl :)

I will be staying here and discovering the benefits and drawbacks of the Family Medical Leave Act. I want to make sure my mother leaves this world as peacefully and painlessly as possible. And I want her to be surrounded with the knowledge of how profoundly she touched the lives of those who know her. Mom had a ceaseless capacity for compassion and it has become evident with every visitor how much she is genuinely loved.

She's on oxygen and they've started giving her liquid morphine under the tongue.

I asked if I could have some but no one seemed to find me very amusing...especially when they realized I wasn't joking.

I hate to keep in touch this way but I've had my phone permanently attached to my head for 24 hours and I'm not making much sense ... not that I ever have :)

Thanks to all the amazing people surrounding my family right now with prayers, text messages, phone calls, email and hugs. You remind me how lucky I am.

Friday, May 19, 2006

As the saying goes...

I'm home from work today, alternately napping with Lord Mucous and puttering around my apartment in an attempt not to over-think my existence. This all made me thing of my friend and co-worker John Fox.

Johnny Fox is a security guard at work who's a salt of the Earth, Bronx Irishman. He's always quick with a good quote or a sage old saying. He once told me referring to his past wicked ways, "Yeah baby, I was on everything but roller skates."

My favorite thus far remains, "If you're livin in your head, you're livin in a bad neighborhood."

On that note I think I shall check the sauce simmering on the stove and settle into my warm bed with a book. Rainy days are not meant to be spent anywhere else.

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Run Forrest!

This past Wednesday I ran the American Heart Association Wall Street Run. It was a 5k race winding through the streets of Lower Manhattan. I enjoyed seeing a part of Manhattan I'm not usually apt to go to.

The best part though,was that I'm averaging just under a ten minute mile. I also had a nice 4 mile run on Monday and can feel my legs getting stronger.

My track record for maintaining healthy habits isn't so great so 'm trying to keep my enthusiasm up through occasional shin splints and soreness in my SI joint.

Next up is a big one for me... not only because of the mileage (it's a 10k) but it marks the end of my time as a smoker.

Yes, it's true.

I'm going to have my very last cigarette on June 7th, 2006.

Also taking up this worthwhile endeavor is my boy T.P.
Big Gay Husband, however shall remain a smoker (for now) and probably kill me during this experience.

Now that I've told you all, be sure to give me shit if I fail.

Then give me a big hug and tell me to try again :)

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

R.I.P Common Sense - The following post contains run on sentences and potential grammatical errors to adequately reflect my state of annoyance.

I'll only bring up one example today of the alarming rate at which common sense is disappearing.

This morning, amidst a downpour, a seemingly-normal, bright, smiley woman stepped onto the train and stood in the middle of the doorway dripping her Ginormous umbrella all over the 8 or so people seated around her.

She must have had a keen ear though because she apologized and clumsily folded her umbrella up when I just happened to sigh. and roll my eyes. :)

Thankfully, people can still be shamed into some semblance of considerate behavior.

Thursday, May 11, 2006

Desperately Seeking ... to see Odets. If anyone knows where to find them for less than 88 bucks let me know...

I was a production manager on this show at the Kavinoky Theatre and I loved the play.


Well... Last night was a far more respectable showing and enough to make me feel better about the impending baseball season.

In other news, I'll be doing my own rendition of "Masterpiece Theatre" this evening at the Gene Frankel Theatre for Manhattan Comedy Collective's Big Bang. I'll also polish off some stand up comedy gems and maybe even pierce a body part or two.

Last night I was fortunate, yet again, to do a staged reading of a new full length play by the BGH. This one, "The Gorey Guide to Gay Dating" was presented to a group of theatre folk who hopefully provided young Rob with some helpful suggestions. I went home right after the read having a sour stomach and an abnormal sense of depression for the loss of my favorite Rhoda scarf.

(Other items whose loss I'm still lamenting - my kick ass blue fuzzy Kangol Trilby hat lost at Christmas after the arduouds drive to Buffalo and the aquamarine ring that my father gave my mother the year they were engaged - it fell off my finger Easter Sunday 3 years ago at MOMA.) This one is similar but not close enough. sigh...

Thanks to Mo for sending this horrifying blurb to my attention yesterday. As she pointed out - he is supposed to be the brighter one. Not much consolation there, folks.

Speaking of Maureen, I'm thinking of going to glorious Harriman, NY to cheer Mo on in her second (or maybe third?) sprint triathlon on May 21st.

In all honesty it depends how much I eat and drink at a Carney favorite - the Ninth Avenue Food Festival! I'm already trying to figure out whether to start with pierogies as per usual or start things off a little differently. Either way, there will be beer, carbs, jewelry and bargains...

These are some of the random things that ran through my head this morning while washing my face and brushing my teeth...all while urinating. God, I love a tiny bathroom.

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Seeking blind, apathetic woman with strong stomach

It's a good cause after all.

Monday, May 08, 2006

Well, who doesn't want Big, Sexy Hair?

Everytime my BGH visits my home, my hair care products go missing. The scenario is usually something like this. BGH and I hang out in my apartment. At some point in the course of the evening he manages to discreetly make his way into and out of my bedroom without me knowing. When I crash in bed later on, I am usually greeted by a bottle of hair thickener under my pillow or a jar of soy paste underneath my stuffed monkey.

When asked where this burning desire to hide my hair care came from, he responded that if I was going to use a product with such a ridiculous and melodramatic name he was required to point it out to me whenever the opportunity arose.

This Friday was an event to be sure - it actually took two days of routing through my sheets and pillows to discover the location of all my potions and lotions.

I often wonder to myself... what do people without a BGH do for entertainment?

Friday, May 05, 2006

Ola bitches...

Back from an excellent vacation filled with good friends, alligators, beer, baseball, saltwater and airboats. A special shout out to Joe Yanacci who was kind enough to put up (and put up with) Kelson, Tony and I for 5 days in his comfy home. We utilized the pool and made a mess of his "professionally cleaned" apartment as well as allowing this poor creature to schlep us all over the state of Florida.

Some of the highlights of the trip include holding a baby alligator, meeting up with Mo for gators and beers (she happened to be visiting her parents in North Fort Myers), Captain Mike and the airboat ride through the Everlades, swimming in the beautiful waters off Captiva Island and card games on the lanai. In addition I was touched by the text messages from my BGH telling me I was missed. What a lucky girl!Oh, and did I mention how much I enjoyed seeing Tampa Bay beat the Red Sox?
*big grin*

Regarding my prior to Florida post - sorry to be so morbid but I want this blog to be true to my fluctuating moods and life experiences. It is who I am and if you're just bored enough to keep reading... well, y'all are the cat's ass. I do appreciate it :)

mad love... ab