I love a good blast from the past. Especially when it comes with some really kind and complimentary words.
I dated a man about 11 years ago who was lucky enought to be caught up in the middle of my fiercely independent stage where I was overly concerned with semantics. I insisted we have an open arrangement with no exclusivity and I would not let him ever refer to me as his girlfriend. Mind you, this generous, kind hearted man once took me to the Caribbean for 11 days as a birthday gift. Every night I was there, he wrote a poem for me and slipped it under my pillow before bed. I also told him I was convinced he was in love with me because I'd given him his first blowjob.
When I told him romance could be defined in many ways and I hadn't met anyone who had the same definition I did, he staged a one man show espousing what famous people in history have said about romance, complete with picnic and a surprise rose.
So when I moved to NYC and attempted to contact this man just to see how he was. I was surprised and saddened that he didn't remember me.
Fast forward four years. I received an email from said man, happily married and with a new baby. It said that he was trying to get in touch with me.
A few emails later, I called him, at his request, at his office (he became a doctor, of course). He was incredibly open and sweet - more flattery than anyone deserves on a Monday morning.
He told me he'd seen my website and I was just as beautiful a he remembered - not that he was surprised. grin.
We also talked about my Mom, as he knew her before she got sick and said he'd been reading my blog. When he was an RN he worked with a lot of dementia patients and wanted to share some of his stories about that. note
: This could easily segue into a whole entry about my mom but I haven't been awake long enough to want to start crying and crawl back into bed.
It turns out he certainly did remember me but did not want to upset his fiancee - now wife, by overemphatically
accepting my phone call.
Which led me to say, "Why am I always on the do not call
list for so many ex's"?
I mean no harm, pose no threat, have no evil intentions....
And yet, they're forbidden to speak to me, by their wives, fiances, pets.
According to this gent, I am the one that affected their lives most, the one you don't forget.
wow. ain't that some shit?
A lot of my intimacy issues are tied up in feeling forgotten by my old man and always fearing Alzheimers/loss of memories...
So aside from the ego stroke, this was the kindest and most meaningful thing someone could have said to me.
I guess there's something to be said for a look back every now and again.
Just so long as you don't get stuck there. :)