Merry New Year
It wasn’t until college that I began to find out about Wicca. It started with books I solicited from other people – the first of which was actually about Satanism. It would appear that Satanism is basically just the antithesis of Christianity and involves performing Christian rituals backwards. Talk about a lack of creativity. I hereby present Satanists the award for “least original religion ever”.
Telling people I was a witch used to spark interesting conversations. Now I hesitate to even bring it up. It occurs to me that I’m just not as passionate about defending my choices and/or debunking stupid old myths that anyone with an internet connection can easily refute. I mean for fucks sake, paganism and matriarchal religions are older than that infantile Christian sect.
Don’t even get me started…
As many of you know Samhain is the time of the year when the veil that divides the spirit and material realms is at its thinnest. It is for this reason that Halloween is the optimal time to contact loved ones who have passed on. It is my second favorite holiday in the pagan calendar. My first is Midsummer.
In addition Samhain is the last stop on the wheel of the year and a good time to make resolutions for the coming year. (I prefer to do it now rather than January 1st because those resolutions are always set to fail!)
My tradition for Halloween has always involved staying in, carving a pumpkin, making some resolutions, honoring the season and doing a full tarot spread for the coming year. It has only included other people on rare occasions.
There is an amazing and palpable amount of energy created in a full circle (13+ members) and I prefer that scenario for Sabbat Observances but not so much for spell work. The difficulty in being a solitary witch is that you must rely solely on yourself for motivation. It isn’t the same thing as having a service scheduled every week where someone sets everything up, decides the lesson, chooses the readings etc. There’s a lot of work that goes into designing a ritual and to be honest, I haven’t had it in me lately.
I haven’t been a very good witch. I trace the decline in my observation of the divine and attention to spirituality on laziness and location.
It all began when I moved to NYC. In Buffalo, I was involved in a coven I helped form and I spent a fair amount of time with pagan friends. I also had easier access and opportunity to be in natural spaces, some of which I was able to inhabit alone. Yes, alone. In NYC, I can find these spaces but very rarely would I ever have them all to myself. I’m also surrounded by concrete, commerce and crap of one kind or another.
My point is that I usually see the divine in a natural surrounding and now I’ve had to reinvent that ideal.
I see and feel the divine now in the little kindnesses I offer and that are offered to me in my interactions with strangers – people I have no reason to extend myself to, but do.
I want to possess an awareness of the weight made by every movement, gesture, word and choice I make. I want to craft my reality out of the very best things I’m capable of visualizing.
I want the moon to follow me home again.